I come from a family of high achievers.

My work as a Life and Leadership Coach has me in constant conversation with leaders who would proudly carry this label. But in pushing the borders of exploring what it means to live a happy life, it has become clear to me that being a high achiever is no...

My son and I were traveling by plane recently.

We were sitting in coach.

He is a big guy and I’m not such a big woman (in size).

We sat quietly and peacefully next to each other for 2 hours until I asked him this question

Me: “Can I ask you a question?”

He: “Of...

A dear and wise client of mine, Jo, sent me a text last night with a seemingly simple question.

She asked, “How do you define success?”

I read this text at the end of a day that felt like anything but successful! I had failed to finish a 50 mile race that I had trained for with great...

I am an expert at helping couples experience their second marriage with their first spouse.

I’m not exactly sure how that happened though, given I, myself, was in a marriage only once for less than four years.

But Pat Riley didn’t need to be an extraordinary basketball player, to lead...

Nobody ever jumped out of bed in the morning and joyfully exclaimed,

“I love creating new habits!”

Nobody ever!

That’s because we all know that forming new habits and getting rid of old, entrenched ones is a shitty process.

By shitty I mean it’s long, requiring higher...

Are you in the middle of or considering making a life transition? Truthfully, it’s a combination of art and science. Here are 8 steps to get you from information-gathering to action:

1. Know your “Why”

Having crystal clear clarity about the reason for your transition is the...

How often do you blame yourself for making a mistake you believe you shouldn’t have made?

How often do you catch yourself saying or simply thinking some version of, “I was stupid…I should have known better…I can’t believe I let that happen to me!”?

If in...

You don’t need my coaching.

And that may be why you are my ideal client, and I, your ideal coach.

There is a paradox inherent to the business model I’ve chosen.

I choose to coach people who are emotionally and psychologically well, high performing by all regular human standards, and...

Some people have vision.

I love those people so much! I seek them out. I want them as friends and clients. I’m drawn to them like a hopelessly hypnotized moth to flame.

They like me too. They think I’m one of them.

But I never had vision. Still don’t.  

What I have is...

We are often drawn to coaching because we think the coach is somehow wiser or smarter than we are. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I have no problem sharing my belief that every single one of my clients is smarter than I am. However, you can safely assume that any effective...

Are you a group person?

I never was.  

Until recently.

At first, my individualism bias was by chance more than choice.

I was an only child for the first eight years of my life, and truth be told, I liked it. I didn’t have to compete with anyone for attention and had a default for...

Whoever coined the phrase “it’s the thought that counts” was likely trying to make themselves feel better about disappointing someone due to a half-hearted attempt or one simply not taken at all. 

Nobody ever meant it when they let us off the hook by saying it’s the...

Worry is nothing less or more than a habit.

It’s complex only insofar as our individual tendency towards it, but otherwise it’s pretty simple and, ultimately, a decision.

Worry is self indulgence masquerading as concern and love for others.

Worry is letting our mind indulge in...

Don’t look away.

She could have been your child or mine.

Parenting is nothing but one long-held breath.

We inhale as we witness our heart detach from our chest and begin its journey in a world outside of us.

A world outside of our protection and control.

And we hold our breath till the day...

There’s a secret to identifying our most robust relationships.

The secret is that if asked the question, “which one of you gets more out of this relationship?” each party would honestly and easily respond, “I do, of course!”

This is a concept that our brain...

It’s January 6, 2022!

If you like making New Year’s resolutions, I’d like to suggest the following:

Go upstream.

So many of us make the kind of resolutions that are bound to fall apart (data shows that this happens by mid January, for most) because we’re too far downstream...

I absolutely hate networking.

I literally hate the word and everything it stands for.

Most of us are pretty happy going through life meeting and getting to know people organically until some time in our late teens and early adulthood when we are given the message that if we want to be successful...

I used to be really angry.

I thought it was my personality because, well, I come from a long line of angry people. I can feel them getting angry as they read these words. But I soothe myself with the belief that most members of my beloved family don’t actually read much of what I write. And...

When you experience hardships, do you share it with everyone or keep it to yourself? Do you consider it a private event only to be shared with your coach, therapist and best friend? Or do you consider it responsible, helpful and useful to share your painful experiences with the world at large?

...

The outpouring of support, love and understanding I received after publishing my blog, The Unexpected Gifts of Grief & Loss about the passing away of my best friend, Ahmed, has brought me to tears on a regular basis. I did not know that so many people would relate to my unexpected...

Last week’s blog, A Unicorn Called Happiness, (https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/a-unicorn-called-happiness), left many readers with more questions than answers. Most wanted me to explore how we can identify the things that make us feel alive and purposeful.

As I wrote in last...

Sit down.  

Close your eyes.

Hear me saying the word, slack.

What’s the emotion that rises up in you?

If you’re anything like most of my clients, ambitious, high-achieving go-getters, the emotion that you’re experiencing is not a pleasant one. We’ve been...

Trying to be relentlessly positive is an exhausting and often useless pursuit.

So many of us, especially women, got the memo that good people always look at the bright side and help others do the same. How often has your child come to you with a story of how she is feeling hurt, disappointed or...

“Wait, I’m confused…..”

How often have you started a potentially difficult conversation by feigning confusion? It was certainly my default response when I was actually angry and hurt but didn’t have the language to express myself without fear of blowing up the...