My niece, Hannah, just released an album of her heartfelt and deeply vulnerable (and in my opinion, brilliant) work.
To put one’s work and self out there in the world takes courage at any age, but at 17, it takes something more.
Hannah was walking through fear, not because she was...
I come from a family of high achievers.
My work as a Life and Leadership Coach has me in constant conversation with leaders who would proudly carry this label. But in pushing the borders of exploring what it means to live a happy life, it has become clear to me that being a high achiever is no...
My son and I were traveling by plane recently.
We were sitting in coach.
He is a big guy and I’m not such a big woman (in size).
We sat quietly and peacefully next to each other for 2 hours until I asked him this question
Me: “Can I ask you a question?”
He: “Of...
A dear and wise client of mine, Jo, sent me a text last night with a seemingly simple question.
She asked, “How do you define success?”
I read this text at the end of a day that felt like anything but successful! I had failed to finish a 50 mile race that I had trained for with great...
Nobody ever jumped out of bed in the morning and joyfully exclaimed,
“I love creating new habits!”
Nobody ever!
That’s because we all know that forming new habits and getting rid of old, entrenched ones is a shitty process.
By shitty I mean it’s long, requiring higher...
Worry is nothing less or more than a habit.
It’s complex only insofar as our individual tendency towards it, but otherwise it’s pretty simple and, ultimately, a decision.
Worry is self indulgence masquerading as concern and love for others.
Worry is letting our mind indulge in...
Trying to be relentlessly positive is an exhausting and often useless pursuit.
So many of us, especially women, got the memo that good people always look at the bright side and help others do the same. How often has your child come to you with a story of how she is feeling hurt, disappointed or...
“Wait, I’m confused…..”
How often have you started a potentially difficult conversation by feigning confusion? It was certainly my default response when I was actually angry and hurt but didn’t have the language to express myself without fear of blowing up the...
“Mom, do you think you might have an eating disorder?” one of my children, who shall go unnamed, asked with more than a little hesitation.
My immediate reaction was, “Wait, what???” followed by confusion, anger and defensiveness. I have a complicated relationship with...
I’m going to share a secret with you. Great Life Coaching is not about helping clients reach their goals. Setting goals and striving towards them is what I call the “chocolate-covered broccoli” of this work.
Of course, we get clarity on our goals and strive towards...
Last week’s blog, Find Your North Star, elicited a lot of responses and questions from my community. “How can I find out my top life values?”, was the question most asked. But I also was asked to share my top values and the impact of each in my life.
It takes time,...
A great Coach isn’t smarter, more knowledgeable, or necessarily even more experienced than her greatest client.
A great Coach is deliberately on the road to mastering her craft and is in charge of the coaching process, not in control of the outcome. This is the truth that I had...
A dear and wise client of mine, Jo, sent me a text last night with a seemingly simple question. She asked, “How do you define success?”
I read this text at the end of a day that felt like anything but successful. I had failed to finish a 50-mile race that I had trained for...
This is the time of year that Professional Coaches are inundated with requests for coaching conversations. Folks want to know how someone like me can help them achieve their goals. It’s easy to set goals and create a plan to execute them. It’s easy to download an app...
Perk up your ears, and you’ll notice how often you hear yourself or others say, “I’m so stupid!”. I know I do it. Far less than I used to, but still, I catch myself saying it in my head and sometimes out loud with no consciousness.
As I’m fond of...
Much of the work I do with my clients centers around cultivating their sense of compassion, for others and for themselves. I’ve found that most of us can find a level of compassion for others, but when it comes to our selves, we can be obstinate and harsh. We expect so much of...
A strange and different kind of year is coming to an end, and oddly, most of us are experiencing the same pre-holiday stressors as we do during any other “normal” year. For a year that was seemingly “cancelled”, we sure have a lot to get done, right?
What this...
“You’re killing my soul!”, I whined to my Coach, more than once. You’d think he was asking me to take action that put my life at risk. What he was asking me to do - repeatedly, and time after time - was to block time in my calendar for all the things that...
Growing up and well into adulthood, “How do I make it happen??”, was the question I asked myself most often. I was raised and also had an inclination to be independent, resourceful and high achieving. Bars were not set low in my family, and I not only accepted that life...
What do highly educated millennials and many high-achieving, fifty-ish women have in common?
On the surface, seemingly not much. However, because both are groups of people that I coach, one similarity connects them with surprising consistency. Often, both groups are striving to gain clarity...
What comes up for you when you read the following?:
“After the birth of their child, Ruth Bader Ginsburg's husband was diagnosed with cancer. During this period, Ruth attended class, took notes for them both, typed her husband's dictated papers and cared for their child & her sick...
My son is graduating from high school. I’ve raised him the best I knew up to this point, but on the threshold of manhood, I felt that he needed some male advice, in addition to whatever wisdom I’ve shared with him so far.
So I did what I always do when I need advice, help and...
When in a crisis, leaders are at risk of either under-reacting or over-reacting.
When under-reacting, we are showing minimal empathy, are overly optimistic and downplay the situation.
When over-reacting, we are experiencing constant high threat, catastrophizing, and creating panic in others.
The...
“I’m enjoying the privilege of being still,” said my client effortlessly, as though this is a common belief and these words are part of our collective lexicon.
Well, you could have knocked me over my coaching perch with a feather!
With due respect and understanding for the...
