Yay Women! 6 Insights I Gained From a Women’s Retreat
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I just spent five days at a Coaching Retreat with an intimate group of five extraordinary women. Together, we made six, and together, we made magic.
Left to my default, I can be a lone wolf. I’ll take the few over the many, quiet over noise, and I choose depth—always depth. Transformational one-on-one coaching is the work I was put on this earth for because it checks all the boxes for how I love to spend my time.
So, it won’t come as a surprise that I was more than a bit anxious about diving into what, for a deep introvert like myself, could feel like the equivalent of a lifetime of being out of my comfort zone. Everything about this retreat asked me to stretch my capacities. Spending six full days with women I didn’t know (except for the one who asked me to attend) in a city that, although beautiful, is not one I would travel a whole day for.
Historically, groups exhaust me. My daughter makes fun of me by comparing my social battery to an iPhone in frigid weather. The battery is full until it’s, very suddenly, at zero. Her little joke is spot-on and not so funny if you live it. This is why I have to be tremendously discerning about protecting my energy. With their different personalities, undercover politics, and clashes of egos, groups can deplete and drain. And for someone obsessed with depth and uncovering truths, groups can feel shallow and superficial.
In addition, and if I’m honest, I’ve been in groups of women where the competition, side-talks, and the performance culture left a bad taste in my mouth.
But this past week, I had a wildly different experience of being in a group, one that challenged and upended my long-held and, if not false, then at least questionable belief about the value and benefits of being in a women’s group. Partly through the genuine and loving character of the hosts and partly through luck, six of us came together, almost immediately willing to open our hearts and minds.
On the face of it, the agenda for the trip, which was beautifully thought through, was my nightmare because it was anchored by breakfasts, lunches, and dinners in the kind of fabulous restaurants that can turn a meal into a conclave. I knew each meal would last h-o-u-r-s! I realize this is what most people love about going on vacation, and believe me, these were restaurants that are typically impossible to get a reservation at if you don’t have a solid connection. But for me, the prospect of sitting and socializing anywhere from six to ten hours a day is some kind of hell.
But here’s what happened.
Almost immediately, because each woman intended to connect deeply and genuinely with the others, every meal became an occasion for heartfelt and profound conversations. It was no longer about the food or small talk but about our life experiences and insights. There were no social masks present. No judgment. Just an almost other-wordly level of acceptance of where each woman is on her life journey.
Over three-hour lunches, we discussed what it felt like to be married, single, divorced, or widowed. We discussed the mystery of death and the sublime taste of French butter. We reflected on our youth and shared stories. We cheered, laughed, and shed tears for ourselves and each other.
We honored our past selves and envisioned our future selves. Because most of us are looking at the first half of our lives in the rearview mirror, we brainstormed about what we want to create consciously and deliberately in our precious second half. We shared our hopes, goals, and regrets and were coached skillfully and deeply by the Life Coach who created this sacred space.
As I write this article on the plane on my way home to the U.S, I’m changed by the insights I gained in the short but transformative few days. I learned that:
- When a woman feels safe and bold, her honesty is cathartic and profoundly transformative for every other woman in her presence.
- When we shine a light on another woman's path, we women better understand the ground under our own feet.
- A woman’s love for her children is more powerful than any force on this planet, but she doesn’t have to be a mother to own and express that powerful energy.
- Money is better (and safer) in the hands of women.
- Like cats, women have many lives, and the world is richer when they are empowered to create their next chapter.
- Women are just plain beautiful when they let themselves—their true selves—be seen.
Yay Women!
Photos: D. Bana Photography
