Why No One Needs Coaching

Recently, I was on a “catch up on life” call with a friend of mine, and she was telling me about all the people around her who are dealing with our new COVID reality by doing more, much more, of what they were always doing anyway.  She complained about their overdrinking, over partying (yes, even during this time of social distancing) and a plethora of other methods of buffering.  Then she said, “Boy, they could really use your coaching.”

I stayed quiet.  The purpose of the call was for us to feel connected and heard.  She is a friend, not a client, and responding to her comment with what I’m about to share here, would not have brought us closer to my goal of nurturing our connection.

So why share with thousands of people what I didn’t share with one?  Because, if you read my posts, you likely want to know more about coaching.  

Coaching comes from the world of athletes, actors, and business people.  It is a want, not a need.  Nobody needs coaching.  If we are truly living lives of physical, emotional or mental dysfunction, we are far better served by getting support from psychologists, psychiatrists and medical doctors.

Fortunately, most of us are functional.  We can easily continue our lives on the path we are on.  When others look at our lives from the outside, everything looks good, maybe even great.  But we know that we can do better; that we are meant for more.  We feel that something is missing.  Nelson Mandela said, “There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”  He was not referring to more material possessions.  Mr. Mandela, who is arguably the greatest Life Coach to have walked this earth, was referring to that quiet knowing in each of us; the voice that sometimes whispers, “I can do better than this.”

Clients who truly benefit from expert coaching and are able to create transformation in their lives, are people who are curious, growth-oriented, and willing to play bigger than they have in the past.  Coaching is for Michael Jordan, not Hannibal Lecter.  It’s an infinite game of growth across the goal line and up the soul line of our lives that is played by 2 people who are committed, even devoted, to one person’s agenda, the client’s.  I have a coach, my coach has a coach, and it’s not because we need it.  But boy, do we want it.