What Luxury Brands Taught Me About Soul Quenching Conversations?

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Most people believe coaching will give them clarity and confidence. The truth is that good coaching will give them courage.

Confidence is a result of doing hard things — taking actions outside of our comfort zone.

And clarity….well, I’ve never met a successful person who had complete clarity while creating their success. Almost always, clarity comes into view only in the rear view mirror of our lives.

It’s important to understand the distinction between clarity and vision.

A vision of where we want to get to, however imperfect it may be, is the start line of all successful endeavors. But unlike what we are led to believe by the Bible and Instagram, vision doesn’t dawn upon us like a Balinese sunrise!

Vision is harvested through practice.

The central discipline and practice within Professional Coaching that cultivates vision is simple, yet profoundly powerful.

It's called deep, skillful conversation.

I’m often asked what I do in a coaching session that is so valuable. I’m also asked to share my “framework” and “curriculum.”

The simple answer I give is, “We talk and your life changes.”

I have always believed in the transformative, healing, and creative power of whole-hearted conversations. I’m not talking about small talk, the soul sucking form of connection that constitutes 90% of most people’s interactions.

The kind of conversation that a Transformational Coach excels at is one that leaves the other with the deep and undeniable knowing that they are seen, heard and held. It’s only once we have crossed that threshold together that we can access our collective higher wisdom to remove obstacles, create new solutions, and muster the courage to take bold and audacious action.

As that Coach, nowhere in this process do I need to inject confidence and clarity into my clients.

I had a successful career in luxury retail that spanned over three decades. Although I always had management roles, my not-so-secret guilty pleasure was spending time on the sales floor. People often thought that I found any excuse to get on the sales floor because I loved selling.

But they had it all wrong. I loved the conversations that ensued in the intimate and magical space of the sales floor and the dressing room. Never, ever did I “sell” anything. What I did do, quite masterfully over time, was to create space for deep, meaningful conversations.

You should know that at the level of the kind of luxury brands I worked with and for, none of the customers were making purchases based on “need”. Not one of them “needed” another handbag or a suit.

The magic of the brand would entice them to step into the store for the first time, but it was the conversations that had them returning again and again.

The core disciplines of seeing deeply and hearing forensically are the foundations of life changing coaching. And I practiced these skills for decades in a seemingly unrelated field. So when people ask me today how long I’ve been a Coach, I say four decades.

Yes. Deep, skillful, soul-quenching conversations create profound connection, immeasurable value, and miraculous results.

Look around in your own life to see where this principle holds true.

And if you find a corner of your world where this principle isn’t working, ask yourself, “How am I making the conversation small?”