The "Things Worth Doing" List
Last week’s blog, “The Shit I Don’t Have Time For” List, touched more people’s hearts and minds than I expected. As well, it elicited the most response I’ve ever received. Although I wrote it from my own female perspective, men and women alike, connected deeply with the message and started making their own SIDHTF list - and shared it with me.
It was unusual and rare for me to write from the “don’t” perspective. Don’t is more often an unproductive or unuseful word in the context of creating desires. As a Coach, I almost never use this word because I know it has the opposite effect on my clients. If I say, “Hey, whatever you do, don’t think about the yellow Bentley parked outside,” what is the image you immediately have in your mind?
A yellow Bentley?
This is why don’t is not effective in creating. It’s a word that touches parts of us that naturally want to rebel against other people’s control - even if we have asked for their advice. Enlightened parents learn early in their child’s life that using the word don’t - unless used to cause fear - actually has the opposite effect of leading to meltdowns and rebellion, if not secrecy and lying. These are not qualities we want to nurture in our children, or in any of our relationships. So use this word like a good chef uses spice when cooking - sparingly, skillfully, and almost imperceptibly.
Making a SIDHTF list of our own is powerful and remarkably clarifying. I encourage everyone, regardless of what stage of life you are in - to take 30 minutes and write your own unique list. But once written, put it in a drawer and walk away. Trust me, you won’t forget what’s on the list. It’s not the kind of thing you have to refer to and remind yourself of. Once you’ve thought it through and most importantly, gathered the courage to declare it to yourself and the world, you WILL NOT forget it. That’s because this is not-so-new information your brain has to process. This is the deepest knowing in your soul that’s been patiently waiting for a measure of authentic self-acceptance and appreciation - the promise of feeling more ease in our everyday lives. Which one of us doesn’t want more of that?
The SIDHTF list is part one of this impactful exercise, and although valuable on its own, you’ll turbocharge the benefits once you make time for part two: creating your list of “Things Worth Doing”. This second list will feel very different. It’s more dynamic and will draw from your imagination and creativity far more than from your past. If you want to learn more about this exercise, drop me a note and I’ll share my own list, as well as how I help my clients create theirs.
P.S. I’m committed to sharing my Life Coaching skills and tools out into the world, in the hope that it can help others. If this blog resonates with you, please consider forwarding it to anyone who may benefit from it. If this was forwarded to you, subscribe here.
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