Are You Fed Up Yet?

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The Coaching field remains a mystery to so many people.

My mission is to dispel as many myths and share as many truths about Coaching as possible on this chosen career journey.

You can read a selection of those articles here.

One crucial aspect of the coaching relationship I haven't shared yet is the most important predictor of client success: how great Coaches choose their clients.

What differentiates “Elite Coaches” from “Good Enough Coaches” is their impact.

It’s not how much they charge, what terrific advice they give, who they know, and how many books they’ve written. Although those are all contributing factors, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is impact.

The client needs to be able to say, “I worked with _______  for a year, and my life changed.” So, as Coaches, how do we make this happen? How do we ensure that we are always optimizing for profound impact?

I can tell you that one component of the decision guarantees a 90% success rate, and that’s even before the “official” start of the coaching engagement.

Successful coaches are experts at choosing extraordinary clients.

I don’t mean people who have the potential to become extraordinary through their coaching. I mean people who are already extraordinary.

How do I pick the people I know will benefit greatly from our coaching? How do I discern what I’m calling extraordinary?

1. I spend a lot of time with them before mutually deciding on moving forward with coaching. In a way, I date a potential client before getting engaged.
2. I have intentionally and deliberately cultivated deep forensic listening skills.  One coaching conversation gives me more information about the other person than ten social conversations.
3. I’m obsessed with the art and science of human behavior. Therefore, I look for extraordinary—all day long! Coaching is not a career for the uncurious.
4. I’m not shy about inviting someone who I see as extraordinary but is getting in their own way to a gifted coaching conversation. Elite Coaches are generous and unattached.

Yet, all of the above don’t count unless one particular state of being is present.

Quite simply, they need to be fed up with the status quo. The thought of being in exactly the same state one year from now needs to be unacceptable to them.

You see, the enemy of change is not laziness, stubbornness, or lack of know-how. The enemy of change is the status quo.

And the truth is that for the kind of people that seek out my services, their status quo is pretty damn good. From the outside, they have achieved many, if not all, of the benchmarks of what society deems a successful life.

Often, it’s not uncommon for them to feel bad about wanting more.  

But what I know to be true is that they are not seeking more. They are missing a way of being in the world, a feeling of ease and spaciousness that still eludes them even after achieving all the things.

The worst part is that they know deep inside that this identity is within reach, but somehow, they get in their own way.

I’m looking for the already extraordinary person who is fed up with themselves and the status quo that holds them back from feeling successful, even if they have achieved the benchmarks of success.

Often, the most powerful question I ask in a discovery session is, “Are you fed up yet?”

So, are you?