Are Your Beliefs Holding You Back? Let's Change That.

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People often ask me if they or someone they know is a good candidate for Life Coaching.

My answer is almost always contingent on finding out what questions they are asking themselves.

If their internal conversation goes something like this:

If only my boss wasn’t a moron, I’d love my job.

If only my husband was more caring, thoughtful and just plain nice, I would be happy in my marriage.

If only my kid listened to me and didn’t wake up everyday doing her/his best to make my life difficult, I could finally enjoy parenthood.

Or

When my mom (insert any family member or friend’s name) feels better, then I’ll make time to take care of myself.

When things are not so busy at work, then I’ll make time for my family.

When I find the right partner, then I’ll travel and enjoy new adventures.

Or

I want to create my dream business, but I have to wait till my kids are out of the house.

I want to be closer to my partner, but I have to wait till we retire and can make time for each other.

I want to do what lights me up, but that would make me a selfish person.

Or

The problem is my age, my marriage, my partner, my kids, my parents, my job, my boss, my car, the weather, this city, etc.

The problem is no one listens to me, respects me, or does what I ask them to do.

The problem is I need to make money first.

If I hear any or a version of these reasons for their lack of fulfilling their potential, achieving their goals or manifesting their dreams, then I know that Professional Coaching could potentially be life transforming for them.

What every one of these “reasons” has in common is a flavor of “Toxic Belief” — a blindspot, an opportunity dressed as an obstacle.

The most common Toxic Belief is what I call The Contingency Myth — If ______ then ______ or When ______ then ______.

You can insert almost any two life circumstances in the blank spaces and I will show you the toxicity of that belief.

But a masterful, Professional Coach doesn’t just stop at awareness. She also doesn’t preach to or judge her clients if they’re not yet ready to let go of a Toxic Belief.

A masterful Coach helps her clients test their beliefs until over time, they build evidence for the contrary — until the Toxic Belief is fundamentally replaced with a Power Belief.

You see, beliefs are simply thoughts that we have practiced over and over again until they appear to us as facts. Gravity is a fact, the temperature is a fact — your boss as an obstacle to your professional fulfillment or your daughter making parenting miserable for you are not facts.

When we are able to see the difference between facts and beliefs, we realize how much more powerful we are than we imagined.

Power Beliefs are just as “true” as Toxic Beliefs. But one drains us of our creativity, resourcefulness and resources, and the other multiplies them.

The choice is ours to make and Professional Coaching is the most effective method of doing so.