A Birthday Gift

Hi Everyone,

Today is my birthday, although most everyone thinks it was yesterday.

 I did this intentionally, so I could be present for everyone’s well wishes yesterday and spend this day in reflection and gratitude.  I also want  my actual birthday to be a day of giving something back to my community of clients, supporters, social media followers, friends and family.

I aim to do this by writing a blog that brings value and hopefully inspires; as well as serves as a note of gratitude to the universe for having brought me to this blessed day - a kind of Hallelujah, Shehekhiyanu, and Alhamdollilah wrapped into one.

The topic that keeps coming up in most of my sessions is that of perfectionism and how it gets in the way of us taking productive action.  In my experience with clients, it’s the number one reason we feel stuck in any area of our lives.  I wrote about it in my last blog, https://www.carolynmahboubi.com/blog/2020/2/7/good-enough-is-the-new-perfect, and hadin mind to write a followup piece today.  As I sat down to write, two things happened. 

 I received a note from FZ, a member of my community, asking the following question, “I really enjoyed your blog on perfectionism.  I definitely relate quite a bit.  I became a single parent in 2014, so it’s been an interesting journey.  My daughter is turning 13 soon and really struggles with perfectionism.  Would you have any tips you could share?” 

At the same time, my son slipped this note under my office door.  After wiping the tears from my eyes, I knew that my son had answered FZ’s question and there was nothing more I could add.  This is what he wrote: 

Dear Mom,

This birthday is a very special one in the story of our lives.  It is the last birthday that I will be celebrating with you before I leave the nest.

What I would like to express to you is how truly incredible that nest has been.  A nest is not merely a place of dwelling but rather the energy and life that the people in that place, specifically the Mama Bird, cultivates.  You have cultivated the most calm, loving, energizing and restorative place with all that you have created.

I love our late night backgammon sessions where we take turns woopin’ ass and occasionally attempt to bargain about which set of rules apply this time!  I love the spontaneous dance breakouts and the cuddling on your office couch while you watch Real Housewives of god knows where!  I love our shared meals and conversations.  I could not have asked to be raised by a more imperfectly perfect mother.

Love,

Adam

So, FZ, I don’t have life changing tips or hacks to offer but my message to you and all of us is be imperfect, let your children, loved ones, and colleagues see it.  Let them be imperfect and celebrate their perfect imperfections at every turn.  You will be rewarded as I find myself being today.